Did You Know...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its ,body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........women have told me that)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left- handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that maybe a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know alot of people like that.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

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Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (and Explosives!) should be a convenience store - not a government agency.

Zoom-a-zoom. very funny bro. One of the only posts I shared with my wife.. She thought it was funny too.

That's some good stuff right there!

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Who Farted?

Thanks Zoom that gave me a good laugh ...

I love that kind of stuff! Than you Zoom!

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"All things are possible through faith in The Beard."
- j0z3r 1/15/2010


pure.refreshing.bacon.

30 minutes?? .....Damn pigs...

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Ken Light:

Now what we have is a president who is a limp d!ck worthless piece of slow-acting, overly-analytical nonsense wrapped in a fast-melting candy-coating made of hope... Get him the hell out of there.

cabinetmaker:

30 minutes?? .....Damn pigs...

Must be the mud ......

My wife always calls me a pig and I always took as an insult. Suey, baby, suey.

Haha, that's some pretty good stuff. Not only did I learn something, I got a good laugh.

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Only real men cut their cigars with the tusks of elephants.- Hugemoose

I wish I was a Pig...

But then My girlfriend would be complaining that we only make love for 32 minutes...........

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Who Farted?

More thoughts...
Just Wondering
• Why is an orange an orange and an apple not a red?
• Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?
• Why did God give men nipples?
• Is grass really greener on the other side?
• Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?
• If Corn Oil comes from Corn, what does Baby Oil come from?
• If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do you get Teflon to stick to a pan?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• If a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?
• If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on you headlights, what happens?
• You know how most packages say "Open here." What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else?"
• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment , but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
• Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• If pot grows naturally, and we outlaw pot (nature), are we outlawing God?
• How do they unclog mail chutes in skyscrapers?
• If trailer parks didn't exist, would tornadoes exist?
• Why does X stand for a kiss?
• Why do we itch?
• Do toilet seats really protect us against anything?
• Why do old women dye their hair blue?
• Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

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Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (and Explosives!) should be a convenience store - not a government agency.

why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

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Kuzi's cigar catalog blending 101 developing your palate

oh thanks for the laughs...

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Andy

A little rebellion now and then...is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government.
Thomas Jefferson, Letter to James Madison, 1787
3rd president of US (1743 - 1826)

hahaha some of those are pretty good.

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Bobby

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?' BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: You're next, Chubby.' I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death. PS.How do you make your text look like separate paragraphs? It looks like separate paragraphs when i compose but when i post it all become one paragraph? Thanks.

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