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Wives and Smoking

Last post 10-12-2010, 12:08 PM by Adcurium. 33 replies.
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  • Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 2:50 PM

    • Joined on 10-08-2010
    • Pittsburgh
    • Posts 99
    • Not Ranked
    I saw some posts about wives and smoking. Is there anyone out there who is: A) Still happily married and B) Your wife DOES NOT share and/or love your hobby of cigar smoking? If so, what are some good suggestions on how to keep the peace, the marriage, and still keep your hobby? (I know I am going to get some smart a$$ responses here, but some creative ideas mixed in would be appreciated!) :-)
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 2:55 PM

    Buy a new wife.

    Now that the smartass answer is out of the way...

    My girlfriend does not typically indulge but does support my hobby. She occasionally gets annoyed when she thinks I spend too much time with cigars, which is valid because a decent smoke can last anywhere from an hour to two hours. I try to make sure that she comes first, so we'll hang out and spend time together before I go light one up.

    For the married folks, one thing I've read a lot is the amount of money spent on cigars. Some people work around that with separate bank accounts, etc. I guess the overall lesson I've learned (personally and from the forum) is to communicate with your spouse that this is something you are passionate about. Anyone that loves you should realize and respect that.

  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:03 PM

    • Joined on 10-08-2010
    • Pittsburgh
    • Posts 99
    • Not Ranked
    Ha ha. Yes, buying a new wife could be an option; but this one is a pretty good value so I will keep her. I have heard the adage to put God first, wife second, and family third. So I guess the rest falls behind that, whether it be cigars or sports or any other hobby. Thanks sightunseen!
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:09 PM

    I'm still a newbie with just about a year of smoking cigars, been married 13 years but I smoke on the patio (not in the house or garage) and if she's home I'll usually take a shower after smoking so as not to carry the smell all over the house. I also really try not to overbuy cigars, but that happens from time to time :)

    "Good Friends Are Worth Their Weight In Cigars"

    Central CA ATF Herf
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:37 PM

    • Joined on 05-13-2010
    • Kitchener, ON, Canada
    • Posts 2,964
    • Top 75 Contributor
    She doesn't count your cigars, you won't count her purses and shoes :) Nuff said.
    Wish list in Bio

    There is no blender but AJ, and The Beard is his merchant.
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:43 PM

    My wife will occasionally take a puff off my cigar but for the most part doesn't partake. She doesn't mind me smoking just sometimes gets onto me for buying... Of the cigars she has tried the Tatuaje Reserva SW is her favorite so far.
    For the best news and political commentary check out our new website. We have podcasts posted and new blogs from Nick and Jay on the way!

  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:47 PM

    • Joined on 10-08-2010
    • Pittsburgh
    • Posts 99
    • Not Ranked
    So you were married before the cigars came huh? That is the situation with me and my wife. So there is a bit of adjustment that still has to occur. She is not a huge fan of this hobby (of which I have many). I definitely shower before going to bed after a smoke. The aromas of a good cigar are amazing during; but day-old smoky hair, breath, and clothing are never appetizing to me or her!
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:50 PM

    She doesn't count your cigars, you won't count her purses and shoes :) Nuff said.

    And keeping separate bank accounts helps too. My wife is pretty cool when it comes to my hobbies. Just gotta remember to take one for the team every once in a while and do something she wants. (depresses me just thinkin about it :)

    I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. ~Gary Hart

  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:52 PM

    Been married 7 years and I told her a while ago. . .

    1. My football watching days are limited and replaced by watching Dora and Wonder Pets. (two girls ages 4 and 2)
    2. My guys night out have been replaced with her invited her co-workers and their kids over on a Friday night and I have to entertain while they are drinking my booze.
    3. My golf. . . well, don't even get me started. I played in college and used to be good. Upper 60's to lower 70's. If I shot 74 I was ready to shoot myself. Now, I play in a year what I used to play in a month, if not less.
    4. In-laws. Need I say more.

    I basically said that if you take my cigars away, my last and only source of relaxation and feeling like a guy, that I'd have a nervous breakdown. One-two hours a few days a week after the kids go to bed is not too much to ask for. She gave in and now really doesn't question it anymore. That and my dad has estimated that he has had now about 37,000 cigars in his life and she knows it's in my blood.
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:57 PM

    My wife couldn't understand why I started smoking cigars, she just sees a "big cigarette". I told her that comparing a cigar to a cigarette is like comparing sugar and splenda...they are not the samething by far. She tried to get me to quit and I rather declined. She has given up trying to get to me to quit and now just have come to terms with it, I can't smoke inside or anything fun like that, but at least she's stopped bitching at me. Don't give up, persistence is the key ;)
    " Long ashes my friends."
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 3:58 PM

    I am truly fortunate. On a trip to Myrtle Beach and while at a cigar bar, I let my wife try one of my cigars. It turns out that she liked them and it gives us something to do together that we both enjoy. She has graduated from mild to medium-full cigars.

    Neither of us smokes in the house and weather is now becoming an issue as I do not have a garage and we smoke out on the patio.

    The final issue, that of how many cigars to buy, she has input and I TRY to stick to a reasonable cigar budget.
    “A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.” – M*A*S*H, Klinger

  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 4:09 PM

    So, I've been with my wife 10 years now (Dating and Married combined), and I've been smoking for around 8 of those years. I think with every marriage or long term relationship each party ends up compromising to some extent on some stuff that the other person thinks is insane. Just figure out what those things are, and talk about what the other persons concerns are and go from there.

    For us, she'll never ask me to quit, but she wants me to keep the annual average to around 1-2 per week, and rarely questions me on the cost becuase I do that myself. Also, I smoke outside only, and always change at least my shirt/jacket when I'm done and come in. Especially now that we have a little one. But again she'll never ask me to quit becuase its important to me, even though she thinks its lame. I think designer Jeans and expensive shoes and purses are retarded, but thats her thing so I give her more leeway there than I would have otherwise. That seems to work for us as long as I don't push it.

    Each couple is different though, but if smoking is a thing you won't give up, tell her that, but then try to figure out why it bothers her and work to address the reason it bugs her. You'll probably need to negotiate the quantity, the time you smoke, or the cost or something. But you won't have to quit and then your both on the same page and its not a "thing" anymore everytime you want to grab a cigar. Nothing like a dirty look on the way out the door to kill the mood to light one up.

  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 6:20 PM

    Make sure to time a couple of your smoking sessions with the bedroom session, know what I mean. That way you're amped on the cigar and make like a raging bull. And if she persist in her complaints and take away your cigars, make like a brainless rooster, know what I am getting at? And, needless to say, do take a shower and brush before the action commences. It's kind of a lot of extra work (maybe) and underhanded tactic but it's a last line of defense that may save you.
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 6:42 PM

    My wife actually bought me my first humidor. She knows cigars aren't just big cigarettes. As long as I'm reasonable with my purchases it's all good.

    “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.”

    ― Plato
  • Re: Wives and Smoking

     10-08-2010, 6:50 PM

    • Joined on 06-23-2009
    • outside pittsburgh
    • Posts 627
    • Top 500 Contributor
    My wife does not like cigars or that I smoke them but she knows i love it and supports my hobbi we just always disscuss what I am buying so I am held accountable for not spending thousands because I just might she even gets me stuff some times
    De gustibus non est disputandum

    “of taste there is no disputing”
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