A businessman was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from college and I need some help.. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."



A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"



A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

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Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (and Explosives!) should be a convenience store - not a government agency.

Dug this thread up for a new joke.......

I asked my uncle what he's doing to enjoy his retirement, given the current financial crisis. He said that working people frequently ask him how he makes his retirement more interesting. He said, "Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' "

"He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ***-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw that the car had an Obama sticker on it. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age."

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Guns don't kill people......daddies with pretty daughters do.

lilwing88:

Dug this thread up for a new joke.......

I asked my uncle what he's doing to enjoy his retirement, given the current financial crisis. He said that working people frequently ask him how he makes his retirement more interesting. He said, "Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' "

"He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ***-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw that the car had an Obama sticker on it. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age."

ROTFLMAO! GOOD ONE!

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"MITAKUYE OYASIN"

"OZZIE" OSBORNE


"Death By Diesel" Creator and Conqueror

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Guns don't kill people......daddies with pretty daughters do.

Miss Johnson was in the Dr. office with a younger doctor. all of a sudden she ran out screaming. as she passed an older Dr in the hallway he stopped her and asked what was going on. "he said that I was pregnant" she said. The older Dr storms down the hall to the room with the younger Dr and says " Miss Johnson is 71 years old and has 4 childern and 7 grand children, why did you tell her that she was pregnant?" the younger Dr looks at the older and asks " does she still have the hiccups?"

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You cannot have faith without patience or patience without faith.

Team Enfidl

Took me a second, but good one..

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Ken Light:

Now what we have is a president who is a limp d!ck worthless piece of slow-acting, overly-analytical nonsense wrapped in a fast-melting candy-coating made of hope... Get him the hell out of there.

Demotivational posters - I haz them

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Question, challenge, and always keep a fresh battery in your bullshit detector

Why does it keep telling me that I need to register to see this stuff and show me a frozen frog?!?!?!

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.
Unofficial King of international HERFing!

I used imageshack, but I never registered; for whatever reason, the pics appear for me

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Question, challenge, and always keep a fresh battery in your bullshit detector

I registered, but nothing shows... oh well. I surely do LOVE demotivational posters.

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.
Unofficial King of international HERFing!

shows for me...some funny chit!

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There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.

I think it has something to do with the jacked up internet, oh well Ill look at 'em later

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.
Unofficial King of international HERFing!

Posting more funny pics:

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Question, challenge, and always keep a fresh battery in your bullshit detector

3 more pics:



I'd give at least $20 if I saw a guy with a sign like this, if for no other reason than the sheer inventiveness of it



Barney likes the little girls

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Question, challenge, and always keep a fresh battery in your bullshit detector

More demotivational posters:

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Question, challenge, and always keep a fresh battery in your bullshit detector