A forum for cigar lovers.
JDH: A much better lesson would have been to provide the lecture on facebook, and then to have sold the laptop on e-bay, kept the money spent on recent repairs, and then hand the brat a list of monthly expenses that she costs the family - food, housing, clothing, entertainment, insurance, savings for college, etc, and then explain that her "chores" don't even scratch the surface of what her upkeep is costing, but these thngs are provided because they love her and expect her to make the most of the opportunities she has. .
Amos Umwhat: JDH: A much better lesson would have been to provide the lecture on facebook, and then to have sold the laptop on e-bay, kept the money spent on recent repairs, and then hand the brat a list of monthly expenses that she costs the family - food, housing, clothing, entertainment, insurance, savings for college, etc, and then explain that her "chores" don't even scratch the surface of what her upkeep is costing, but these thngs are provided because they love her and expect her to make the most of the opportunities she has. . You're right about the better lesson, but it kind of sounded like maybe he'd already done all that, to no avail. I'm just reading into it, but that was what I got when he pointed out that she'd just come off being grounded for a similar incident. Sometimes, when the childs behavior continues to be unreasonable in the face of reasonable measures, one must show that she/he isn't the only one who can act a fool.
jlmarta:I stick a raisin in my belly button and pretend I'm a cookie.
Russ55:I don't know the guy, I don't know the kid, and I'm always reluctant to judge someone elses parenting unless it clearly falls into the realm of abuse. This is childish, but it's not abuse. I will say this though: This looks a lot more like retribution, and revenge than discipline, or punishment. He looks like he enjoyed it a little too much. When you punish your child, you really shouldn't be enjoying it. That's kind of a red flag that something's not right. On the rare occasion that I spank my son, I feel awful doing it, but I know deep down that it's the right thing to do because his behavior is intolerable, unacceptable, and/or dangerous. Also, it's one thing to enjoy the irony of karmic retribution, or seeing someone get what they deserve, but that's a whole lot different than a parent doing what they want to make themselves feel better at the expense of the child. This "looks" like that may be what's going on here, but without knowing a whole lot more about the situation, and parties involved I can't say for sure. This event has the potential to cause as many problems as it solves.
Amos Umwhat:No, it's not that it's "right". I guess what I'm trying to say is that his main mission is to produce an adult that can both survive and be a good person in the world. For instance, I only ever used a belt on my child about twice. Both times, I explained to him that he had demanded this treatment, since all reasonable efforts to modify his behavior to an acceptable norm had failed. If the child continues to abuse privelege, and continues to exhibit bad behavior, in the real world someone is eventually going to put a stop to it. The lesson is that even people who love you and support you can be pushed beyond the limits of sane and reasonable behavior. In the future perhaps if your parents have talked, administered restrictions, explained, etc., the kid might consider that there's a point at which Dad is going to get just as obnoxious as you are. That the behavior is "wrong", IS the point. As to this kid manipulating Dad into this, well, maybe. I didn't get the impression she was that bright.